From Fear to Confidence: Reclaiming Your Power

Hello From Assurance...

"I am focused and I'm being productive...," an unreassuring affirmation I'm trying to convince myself, of even though right now, at this very moment, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat like the other 335 million Americans and many millions of more people across the world. I'm doing my best to occupy my mind, yet I am constantly checking and refreshing the result of the most searched for page on Google right now using the key words "election results."

Now, this is in no way a political post. I actually do my very best to steer away from any and all politics that don't have to do with my day-to-day; my intimate and daily reality. Simply put, I refuse to live my life in fear and, thus, live a powerless existence.

Let me explain how this happens...

How You're Giving Your Power Away

Too often I encounter people who say, "If only such and such would do X, Y, and Z, then I would [insert responsible action the speaker should already be doing anyway, regardless of whoever outside of them is doing their responsibility]." Too often I see others release their own responsibilities over their own emotions, thoughts, words, and deeds, due to what someone else is doing.

They're most likely saying something like this to relieve themselves of criticism or fault from indeed doing the very thing they were supposed to do in the first place. Unbeknownst to them, they're actually giving away their rights; their power over self; their own free will.

A Moment to Reflect

Are you doing the same? In everyday conversation, are you allowing what someone else is doing to dictate how you feel and then in turn, how you act? Take a moment to think about a recent event that has happened (or is happening in reference to the first paragraph of this blog post). Are you allowing it to change the perception you have over yourself, your security or your own reassurance? It's okay to say you have. That's a necessary part of the journey that leads to growth.

Don't be afraid to ask yourself these reflective questions, and not just once in every blue moon. Weekly, even daily reflection, becomes a beautiful moment of honesty that you have with yourself that will allow you to bloom into an even more beautiful being.

From "Refining" to "Redefines" - A Glimpse

Into Amawi's Journey

For those of you who have known me, or have followed my journey from 2012--a year that drastically changed my life--to the present, know that I've indeed been on a long and winding path of reflection and rebuilding to this point (and onward).

The constant re-evaluating, relearning, re-experiencing with new eyes, made me change my instagram handle name from the cute and quirky "@ban.tu.knots" to "@refiningamawi"... a name that mirrored my desire to get better, to fine tune my existence. A name that reflected the constant work that I was putting into myself to become my own next best thing based on self-set standards.

Amawi Arminta of Amawi reDefines

How I Gave My Power Away

Even though I found myself of this road, I often looked up and realized I was traveling alone, and those who were next to me were focused on their own paths. The comparison made me question my own motives. I allowed feelings of insecurity to wash over me when I heard someone else exclaim in praise of themselves and how they "figured it out." I would fret over how someone I just met introduced themselves with one robust and confident sentence, like the perfect tagline on LinkedIn, while I stumbled and stuttered through a list of things that didn’t seem to connect, like a child listing a host of hobbies their parents signed them up for.

It was bad enough that I felt this way, but I would then allow these feelings to alter my perception of myself. I’d ridicule myself for speaking in such a manner or, worse, avoid meeting anyone else at that event—either as a punishment or as a way to shield myself from the inevitable rush of emotions that would continue to make me feel... well... less than.

"You Always Have A Choice"

Does this sound familiar to you? Are you or someone you know so in their thoughts that make them feel like a prisoner in their own body, thus stunting their growth? It's a common phenomenon, especially for those who live in a Western society where we quantify over qualify people, professions, and events.

The amazing news is, you have the power of choice. As my father would say, "You always have a choice." And he's right. Even in the moments you feel as if your back is against the wall, that's the exact time to exercise your divinely given power of the Will the most.

Reassembling My Power

My power, I've found, is in redefining these back-against-the-wall moments by using the knowledge I've accumulated over the years from studying and experiencing, as well as the indwelling knowledge that speaks to us if we are confident enough to listen and humble enough to digest.

Over time, I realized that even the name "@refiningamawi" was a name I created out of fear--fear that who you were meeting was indeed incomplete, a roughly put together assembly of matter. Something you shouldn't look at too deeply, lest you'd find impurities that you can't wait to point out and ridicule. Which brings me to the point of this post.

What Does Amawi reDefines Mean?

Amawi Redefines is a current statement made with conviction that even though I might still be growing, learning, and transforming, I do it with confidence in the midst of my fear. The opposite of fear isn't a timid calm, it's an assured confidence that even in the midst of unknown outcomes, I bring my whole self to the table. My whole mind, emotion, power, and will to make this beaten down lemon into the tastiest lemonade anyone has ever tasted with my own two hands and no tools. And I did it with a smile on my face 🙂 

I love myself, and I love all those I meet, whether I perceive them as more grown than me or not in all aspects of life. Whether they seem to be my friend or foe, I am confident in each step that I take that will bring me closer to the self that I'm supposed to be in this world.

So even though, at this moment of writing this post, I have no idea who will run the country over the next few years, what I do know for certain is who will run my life - and that's undoubtably me. Amawi, the knowledgable, cultural, beautiful, caring, understanding, humble, yet confident woman that you have met or hopefully will meet one day. No one has more power over me than me, and I cannot allow any person or event to make me feel otherwise.

Time to Feel Great!

Grab Your Pen and Paper!

Yea. Writing that felt good - no, great! Now it's your turn to feel amazing too!

Grab a pen and paper, or make a new note on your phone or iPad as you're reading this and let's redefine together.

Journal Prompts:

• Write 3 things that you absolutely love about yourself

• Write 3 people, situations, events, etc. that have already happened or will happen that make you feel fearful or powerless.

• Write 3 ways that, in those instances written above, you give your power away (reference the paragraph "How You're Giving Your Power Away" earlier in this post if you need to)

• Now write 3 alternative ways you can think, feel, and act respectively.

• Now turn those ways into affirmations.

For example:

• I love that I am optimistic in most situations, take most moments as a learning opportunity, and over-dress for most occasions.

• I become fearful of situations and events that didn't go as planned, I feel powerless when I don't have control or a say over events I'm apart of, and when I meet people I think have it all "figured out" I start thinking about all of the things that I'm still figuring out.

• Sometimes, when I'm in situations that don't go as planned, I give my power away by becoming irritated with the person(s) involved in the event or the event itself. I sometimes feel insignificant or unseen in situations where my voice isn't heard. I sometimes get down on myself for not completing a task by the time I've met someone I feel has figured it out. (Funny reading about yourself out loud! Try that too!)

Now for the fun part...

• I can take a deep breath, humble myself and know that things are going as they should go in spite of me thinking they haven't gone as I've planned. Again, I should humble myself and my vocal chords. It's a blessing to be able to relax and listen, not always to speak and manage. Humility seems to be the word for me here again. I will have it "figured out," soon enough and meeting this person just reinforces my desire to continue growing and evolving.

• To self: Breathe, relax my eyebrows - "I am at the right place, at the right time, in the right order. I am thankful for the opportunity to relax, to listen, and to continue learning. Thank you for fueling my passion to grow into the person I am meant to become." Asé

Now wasn't that special!

Conclusion

I hope you were able to take the time out to practice that exercise, if not, feel free to bookmark this page and come back to it. Think of someone you love, and share it with them and other friends and family you think could benefit from this practice.

The look of this website is brand new, but the sentiments and work is far from a recent birth. Rest assured, Amawi Redefines will be here for years to come.

Thank you for reading, for reflecting, and redefining yourself. It's a lot of work, but it's our work. We reclaim what is ours.

Until next time,

Love and Eternal Peace.

In Power,

Amawi Arminta

[This post is proudly written without the help of AI. Please accept my human-made grammatical errors!]